Over the last two decades, smart phones have exploded in popularity. Now, the vast majority of teens and adults have one, and many children are getting them at earlier ages. As the prevalence of these devices has increased, though, more and more research has revealed the harms that cell phones are causing, especially for children.
This week on Family Policy Matters, host Traci DeVette Griggs welcomes Clare Morell, a fellow at the Ethics and Public Policy Center, to discuss the benefits of phone-free environments for children.
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Family Policy Matters
Free From Smartphones: Part 2 (with Clare Morell)
TRACI DEVETTE GRIGGS: Thanks for joining us this week for Family Policy Matters as we continue a conversation about research showing some of the alarming effects of social media on teen brains. We’re joined by one of the country’s foremost researchers on this topic, Clare Morell, and we’re talking about her new book, The Tech Exit: A Practical Guide to Freeing Kids and Teens from Smartphones. Last week, Morell walked us through some of the most recent research that shows the addictive nature of social media and much of the tech that attracts our young people today. Some have even described it as digital fentanyl. We pick up that conversation today after a question about whether Morell believes social media and tech companies are hooking our kids by design, despite the evidence that much of what teens experience online is bad for them and for our culture.
CLARE MORELL: Yes, I do. Unfortunately, I explained that social media is a predatory industry, much like other addictive industries, because the more somebody uses it, the more profit that that company makes. And it’s because for social media, it’s an ad-based business model, so the longer, even though the service is free to you, the longer you are online, the more ads they can sell to advertisers, and the more they can sell your time, your attention, and your data. And so, they designed the products to be addictive. I think that’s the kind of point to understand. Is the technology itself is not neutral. There’s an underlying design, design choices that are made about things like the algorithms, the metrics on the platforms, the constant notifications and nudges to get back online. All these design features make it addictive to a person, and so they are trying to profit off of our attention, and that is true of children. And particularly with children, they would like to attract younger users to their platforms, because they’ve made statements that say, the younger they can get a person kind of hooked on their platform, the longer they can profit off of that person over time. And so there is an intentional kind of design structure underlying these tech platforms that make them addictive. And particularly this is their business model. And so I don’t think that their business model will change unless they’re compelled to by law or litigation, because otherwise it’s a threat to their profits, and so they’re not going to change by choice, to just change the business model and the design features that they have.
TRACI DEVETTE GRIGGS: I know you did a lot of research by talking and doing a bunch of interviews, but were there any surprises from the research that you did?
CLARE MORELL: I actually think the surprise was that some of the barriers that I thought were there to living out a tech exit lifestyle, common objections I would hear, most of these parents were like, you know, that really wasn’t the case, or that’s kind of a myth. So, like, one of those would be okay if you don’t give access to your child a smartphone when they’re younger, they’ll just go off and binge on tech later when they’re in college. And these families were like, actually, no, it was the opposite. Our child had grown up and formed all of their habits without a smartphone. They weren’t dependent on it, and so if and when they got access to one as an adult in college, it didn’t have the same addictive pull for them. Their brains were more fully developed. They were able to use it more as a tool, and they did not binge and go crazy on tech. So, I feel like I was mainly surprised by things that I thought would be a hurdle for the family, and now they acknowledge there were challenges or points of resistance they had to push through with their kids, but a lot of the kind of big myths I hear as pushback, like everyone has one, and I want them to be the only one left out. I don’t want them to be technologically left behind. I want them to be prepared for the workplace in this digital age, or I don’t want them to go binge on it later. These families had very strong responses to that were extremely helpful for me to hear. And it made me realize, oh, this is actually a lot more possible, I think, than people realize. And it surprised me that they just said, you know, this is fundamentally a very positive thing. It’s not just, oh, this is a very like negative kind of restriction-based lifestyle, actually, that saying no to the screens was saying yes to so much more in real life. It was just beautiful to meet these families and see the kinds of pursuits their children had, the real-life relationships, the ability to talk to and engage with adults in conversation. Just the kind of strong, stable sense of self and presence and confidence these kids had, and strong social skills that saying no to the screens was actually fundamentally a positive no, because it was saying yes to so much more. So those were a couple pleasant surprises in my interviews and research.
TRACI DEVETTE GRIGGS: So, talk to a parent. Let’s imagine a parent who has maybe an eight-year-old who does not have a smartphone, and a thirteen-year-old who does have a smartphone, and they say, I’m convinced I want to take some action. What would you suggest? How would you talk about it to the kids? And what would be the first steps?
CLARE MORELL
I would encourage that family, I would say, you know, you gave a smartphone to your 13-year-old, and I would explain the reasons why it’s still dangerous, really, for a 13-year-old to have a smartphone, but encourage them that it’s actually never too late to reverse course. And as parents, when we get new information, we make changes. We don’t have to feel locked into something. Oh, just because I already gave the smartphone, that’s not a reason to continue to allow them to have it. And so, I have a whole chapter in my book actually dedicated to, how do you do a digital detox to take away the screens, the smartphones, the social media if you’ve already given them. And I would just, it’s filled with examples of families who have done this, and the very practical steps to do it. And I would just say, if you’re unsure, just try it for 30 days, like doing a 30-day digital detox. I think you will be amazed at the results that you see in your kids, because the positive news is that kids’ habits can be reshaped and reset and reformed. And so obviously there will have to be a conversation involved as to why you are now taking away the phone, what you’re going to replace it with in real life, I encourage parents to give kids more real life responsibilities and independence in the real world, if you’re restricting their freedoms and independence in the digital world, as you should, but I think just replacing that with more real world freedoms that can actually help them progress towards adulthood and give them that sense of satisfaction and confidence as they take on more responsibility. And I would say, to delay the smartphone for the eight-year-old and for both of them. You know, once you take that smartphone away, I would just say, really delay the age of first cell phone as long as possible until they’re truly moving around independently. Maybe they start driving, and then, when that time comes, opt for an alternative so I have a whole chapter in the book about alternative phones that you don’t have to give them a smartphone if you need them to have a communication tool to stay in touch with you. There’s a lot of good options, even some options too, that have GPS or certain tools that you would want a child to have when they’re driving, like the gab phone or the bark phone or the pinwheel phone. And so I would, I would really encourage parents delay the age of first smartphone as long as possible and then opt for an alternative. And if you’ve already given a smartphone, don’t be afraid to reverse course. Even for a teenager, I had one family, like it was his senior year of high school, and they reversed course, and they said it was difficult initially, but that he ended up being really grateful for it, because he was able to kind of start his adult life into college without this dependency on a smartphone. And I think that’s true for all of us, even as adults, that there is this kind of addiction, dependence element to it, and even if they have a short amount of time left at home, you know, that’s still one year you can take to really give your child the skills you want them to have and to help them live free of a smartphone. The last quick thing I’ll say is, because you’re in North Carolina, there’s a great organization started by a North Carolinian named Melanie Hempe, called Screen Strong, and she has a 30-day detox plan that really walks parents through step by step how to do this. I interviewed her in the book, so she’s featured in that chapter on detoxes, but I would just say she’s got a wealth of information, much more detailed about how to do these detoxes and how to find a community of parents who’ve already done the detox that can share tips with you, and that’s all through her organization, ScreenStrong.org. So just wanted to put a plug in for North Carolina. You guys have great resources.
TRACI DEVETTE GRIGGS: Yeah, you know, it’s interesting that you mentioned the 30 days detox. That sounds like the dry January, you know, that a lot of adults will do no alcohol for a whole month. Right, so talk about how this change in the way that we’re addressing screens, or particularly smartphones, with our kids, could have an effect on our culture as a whole.
CLARE MORELL: I actually just recently, kind of gave a speech at a conference about this that, you know, in terms of changing the culture around smartphones, because the kind of sad reality is there are collective aspects to the harms from smartphones, that it’s not just an individual type harm, that it changes the social environment and group dynamics for everyone, even the kids that don’t have smartphones. And it’s all too easy for a child with a smartphone to expose your child to something dangerous or harmful, even if they don’t have a smartphone. And so, I talk about just parents, we really need collective solutions. And public policy and school smartphone bans, those are some great solutions that help parents. But I also just want to encourage parents like we can provide the collective solutions. We can change the culture just by talking to each other. And I have a whole chapter in the book about this, like finding other families, creating in your community this, these kind of counter pressures against smartphones into childhood, and I share some examples of how a neighborhood, you know, a few moms talking together on the street about not giving their kids smartphones changed the whole momentum on the street. Their kids were playing outside. Other people were attracted to go join their kids playing outside, and it just, no phones in sight. It just became, you know, the cultural norm on that street to not do smartphones. And so, there’s a growing movement in the United States and in the UK, these groups of parents coming together called smartphone free childhood, and it’s growing. And I think just parents in their local churches, their local schools, their neighborhoods, can create these collective solutions that we need, and you can change the culture for your community, right where you are, by just finding other parents, opening the conversation, giving them this book. I tell parents I wrote the book to people who are not yet convinced of doing the opt out. And so even like starting a conversation with other parents at your school, reading through the book and talking about this and deciding to band together to resist smartphones for our kids, and so I’m encouraged that this is already happening, and I would just love to see more of it, because I do think it’s possible to spark a broader cultural change by making these tech exit decisions for your family and then talking to other families and bringing them along with you.
TRACI DEVETTE GRIGGS: All right, let me stretch you a little bit more. Do you think it’s possible then, if we begin this kind of cultural change with our kids, that it could provide some solutions for all the chaos and mess that adults, those of us who are adults, seem to be creating in society today?
CLARE MORELL: I do, and I think even having to think through these decisions for your kids makes you self-reflective as a parent, of like, how is my own use of my smartphone? Like, am I using my phone the way I would want my child to use their phone as an adult? And I think that’s convicting for us as parents, but I think it’s good to raise this broader question of I don’t think smartphones are really good for any of us, and maybe as an adult, that doesn’t mean you completely give up your smartphone, but certainly adopting practices where you’re really physically distancing yourself from your phone, especially when you’re home, when you’re with your kids, when you’re with your family, or just doing things to make your phone less addicting. Deleting apps that you really don’t need to do on your phone that can wait till you’re on your computer, turning off notifications, just doing things so that you can actually approach the phone as a tool, rather than it kind of constantly demanding your attention and drawing you in and sucking you away from the real-life relationships. A lot of the families I interviewed said it started with them thinking about this for their kids, and it led to them adopting better practices for themselves as adults. And so I do think, you know, as tech exit families grow, as more people are resisting smartphones for their kids, I am hopeful that it will also just change the culture around the ways that we use them as adults, and it would become more socially taboo to just as an adult, be on your phone all the time, especially when you’re with other people in real life.
TRACI DEVETTE GRIGGS: Clare Morell, fellow at the Ethics and Public Policy Center, where can our listeners go to get a copy of your book, The Tech Exit: A Practical Guide to Freeing Kids and Teens from Smartphones and also follow all of your other good work?
CLARE MORELL: Oh, thank you so much. Well, for the book, definitely go to TheTechExit.com. You can find where to buy copies of the book there, as well as some resources that you can download. So, I have a discussion guide to accompany the book, to read it with other parents and talk about it in your community. So that’s on the website, as well as a practical tip sheet of screen free activities for all different ages to help you when you’re doing a detox, when you’re starting off on this lifestyle with just a little bit of inspiration for parents. And so those resources and where you can find the book is all at TheTechExit.com. You can also find me and follow my work at ClareMorell.substack.com, I put my writings and other appearances and things there, where I’ll continue to be writing on topics around kids and technology. And then also, I have a scholar page EPPC.org you can look me up, Clare Morell, all my writings, all my work is consolidated there, so yes, I hope that helps.
TRACI DEVETTE GRIGGS: All right. Clare Morell, thank you so much for being with us today on Family Policy Matters.
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